Guesswork does not work (at IIM Indore) - Part I

(The following is a record of my IIM Indore GD/PI process held on the 18th of march, 9.00 am, Vashi, Mumbai)

The final day, the final interview. Waste efforts on brushing up acads upto 3 in the morning. Wake up before the sun rises (5.30 am), travel early morning to Vashi (And 6.30 is really early by any standards, not just Ankur Standard Time). Breakfast at home. Breakfast again at Vashi. Result: A sleep deprieved IIM Indore interview with a bad case of stomach ache and an impending danger of flatulance. Couple that with a power failure at the Vashi Centre and you will have a faint idea of what my condition was like. However, flatulance is certainly something I am not afraid of. I can always try farting my way through in an interview, like I tried in this one. It stank.

Reached the Vashi Centre at 8.30 am, a rather non-descript building of IICM going under the pseudonym of UTIICM. Found a guy from my college and also the IIT fellow I met during the IIM K process. We had nice time chatting about previous interview experiences and trying to ignore the conspicuous absence of electricity. After passing some quite ‘hot’ and ‘dark’ moments waiting for the process to start, I dared visit the loo (to adjust my tie infront of the mirror you idiot!!) and found it enlightened….. oops!! lighted with emergency lights. Anyways, the panelists then took the brave decision of starting the process at 9.15 ‘in the dark’. (There should be some deep metaphorical meaning in there. Tell me when you find it. My guess is: they feared having to skip lunch). So, at 9.15 am a panelist came out to count if any lucky bakra was to escape slaughter today. To his quite apparent delight, everyone was present. He went back happily. A minute later another panelist came in (the techie guy – lets call him P1 for convenience sake). 8 names were called out. I was 5^th and the IIT guy was 6^th (Finally, a known face in the group)

Another panelist (P2 – the ghazal lover) indicated each fellow’s seat and then sat down on his own. After everyone was settled P1 continued, “Please switch off your mobile phones (One guy had actually forgotten to do so!! Imagine a phone going ‘Dhoom Dhoom’ in the middle of the GD, would have been real fun). Keep everything except for a pen and your forms below your seat. We will distribute a case. You have a time of 5 minutes to study it. Then you will be asked to discuss it. After a discussion of about fifteen minutes, you will be instructed to stop and write a summary on the last page of your application form. Note that you are to write a summary of the discussion and not a summary of the case. (I cannot believe people can be this dumb!) Also note that you will be given instructions on when to start and stop. You will explicitly asked to do so (That’s to deter the smartasses!)”

We were given a page long case here. Covered with a rough sheet.

P1: “You can start reading the case now.”

All the eight guys started fervently. It was huge case with no particulars. Reading the whole case took about 4 mins. Points escaped me. Just noted down 2-3 vague points. Prayed that the IITB case-study scenario does not repeat. (For all my liking of philosophy, I do not really enjoy the disinterested viewpoint in a GD).

Guess what? My prayers were answered!! P1 gave us a signal to start and everyone did. No one had any idea of what to say. Everyone was ‘pointless’, to put it succinctly. There was only one instance, mark it, only one instance when more than one person seriously tried to say something. (Everyone had read their history books properly here. The Gandhian philosophy of non-violence had obviously had a deep impact on each soul.) Everyone was waiting for others to speak. As for my contribution, I sort of summarized each point when the discussion on that point was over and others happily nodded their heads. (I was nearly saved here. The power failure decided to end while the GD was on and I was in half a mind to shout ‘Yayyy’ like I did in school. However, better sense prevailed and the group was spared the trauma.) Only one original contribution from my side and that the group did not pick up. There was one guy, a doctor, who contributed some substantial points on the basis of which we managed to go on for 12 minutes. All of us did a lot of head nodding and agreeing in the GD. Total contrast with IITB. People were sensible here and the foot in mouth disease was absent. Around 12 minutes later, with all points exhausted, there was an eerie silence of about half a second. After that, the only female suggested that we summarize. (Smart girl!) The doctor started summarizing, “We can summarize the discussion as….”

P1(suddenly waking up): “Please start writing the summary.”

I had noted all points discussed and managed to write a point-wise summary of 6 points within 3 minutes.

P1: “Everyone stop now. Stop NOW. Now please attach the attested photocopies of your marksheets with the form. Also attach your admit card. ”

He collected the marksheets from everyone.

P1: “You will be called in for your interview in a few minutes. Please remain in the waiting room.”

I started waiting. I revised my form, my favourite books, studied the day’s newspaper, quizzed a friend about previous interviews and then decided that IIM I people are sadists. Yes, they are sadists. They called in people randomly for the interview. So the guy who is called in second last (like me) cannot do anything. And then to rub it all in, they serve biscuits, which I cannot take for fear that I will be called in while I am eating one (Now, I can sort of understand the logic behind calling us to Vashi – Sadism, pure and unadulterated). As the person after person went in and came out, I knew I was gonna be nailed. Acads. And the commonwealth games. That’s what they were interested in. My grave was dug. But little did I know that I need not depend on these. Grave-digging, especially of my own self is a core competency for which I don’t need to depend on the commonwealth games. I spent around half an hour mourning the fate of my yet-to-take-place interview. Then I decided, my stomach ache is more important and diverted all my attention towards it. But attention helps not, a belly in pain. I suffered in silence. I also cursed the IIM I fellows but this is no place to explore the minutiae of my verbal creativity.

The doctor and I were the only fellows left outside. And my impatient friend (he was done with his interview) was imploring me to beg the panelists to take me in. I was dissuading him from encouraging me towards such drastic steps when I sensed the presence of P1 in the waiting room.

P1: “Ankur Saraf”

Me: “Yes Sir”

(Will continue with the PI experiences tomorrow, no time to type now. Btw, I have really learnt the soap opera ending technique, so you can expect more of this.)

Part II continues here. A serious collection of do-not-try-at-home-without-adult-supervision kind of stunts.