'Dil dhoondta hai, phir wahi fursat ke raat din
Baithe hue tasavvur-e-jaana kiye hue.....'
Bhupinder was crooning on RadioCity. It was a few days before the IIM Lucknow GD/PI. I had heard this song many times before, but never before could I relate to it better. My heart searches for those days of leisure - 'woh fursat ke raat din'. That I would have a lot of 'fursat' in hand a few days later was my optimistic attempt at self-consolation. The past days had been hectic. In fact, the past year had been hectic. And one hell of a hectic year. I started leafing through the pages of my memory. In search of the time that had flown away..... and left in its wake, an eventful year bursting towards the end. Eventful and hectic, perhaps I have chosen the correct words here. You decide.
March - May
Jaadon ki narm dhoop aur aangan mein letkar....
I can still remember last March and my frustrating efforts at trying to master the intricacies of the English Grammar with the Cambridge English Skill Builder. Ten days of bunking college and studying for TOEFL. Cannot call it hard work but whatever it was, it paid of in the end with a perfect score on the TOEFL. My only regret, this score does not matter at all to the admissions committee, so maybe whatever it was, it did not pay off that well. Then came the painful realization that even though I have postponed my GRE to August, I will still have to study to study for it sometime. But because I ha developed procrastination to a fine art, I didn't have any problems ignoring studying for the GRE.
April came knocking and with it a few shocks as project groups were formed. Class politics does not stop anywhere. I decided even I want to do a project. A new realization also dawned that scoring marks is the way to meaningful life. I also discovered that Ghalib was one of India's most famous poets.
May the great God repeat last may this May. I did something then I have shunned ever since. Studying for the exams. The almost daily guiding sessions with friends helped me remember that I have to pass, maybe also score, this semester. As the exams began, for perhaps the first time in my life, I experienced not regretting not studying in the PL.
June
Aankhon par kheench kar tere Daaman ke saaye ko...
"No vacations this time!". Those were my first thoughts as I read about the upcomig campus placements. I went around collecting interview tips and sifting through the sand for my 'resume'. Being reduced to a single page, didn't help especially help ease mental stress but had to live with it. Shakuntala Devi replaced Dan Brown as the author of the season for most of the crowd. (It seems Infy questions were 'inspired' by that book.) Apparently both TCS and INFY had lots of places for communication-skills-disasters, so I was accepted at both places (inspite of the pitiful interviews whose transcripts I will not blog!). Immediately after my acceptances arrived, I rushed for my internship (If you can call two-three weeks of timepass an internship). The tension of the impending GRE, now less than 45 days away, was gnawing into me. Trudged along to Vashi everday, pitifully trying to mug wordlists, day by day, everyday.
July
Aundhe pade rahe kabhi karvat liye hue
July held lots for me other than July 26th. Intership ends. Full-on GRE mode. Come to terms with the fact that I need to write essays now. Other facts too dawn on me : wordlists really do not matter and the no-logic required b******* they teach in GRE classes (mine was IMFS) is just that. Realize that I have enough potential to score in the GRE as I know the meaning of b*******. Start writing essays in all earnestness. Then comes 26th July, which told me that I can live in stress. Even if only for a day, but I can keep my cool when required. It also told me that Mumbai is not all that bad, after all. I also started reading Ghalib.
August
Ya garmiyon ki raat jo purvaiyan chale...
My essays improved with time. And effort. D-Day came and went. I don't know whether I changed but the world around me sure did. The class next day was a welcome surprise. From being a non-entity, I was directly catapulted to the hall of fame. I remember around 30 people congratulating me in a space two minutes. My 15 seconds (or rather 2 minutes) under the sun. Either these people had no idea how little the GRE score mattered or they were just being good for the sake of it. I suspect the former, as I suffered from the same ignorance. I love double helpings of everything and providence was feeling bountiful. I received my highest score in engineering till now. Nothing that great relatively but still great. Relatively.
The rest of the month was spent adjusting to college and life post-GRE.
(I had my first thoughts about starting a blog when I experienced this month. The details are still etched out in my memory, of my imaginary posts on my imaginary blog.)
September-October
Thandee Safed chadron par jaage der tak...
Early september was spent gloating over the astonished faces of counsellors as I told them my GRE scores. Finally decided I have to start applying and have to 'build' a profile. There are supposed masters of this art in existence. Then there are those who suffer from ethical qualms. But ethics are expendable. Was into 'Ghalib' by now.
I was talked into trying the CAT too. Just to get the feel you know, if the MS stuff does not work out. That would give me sufficient ground to plan for next year. Also appeared for my first Sim-CAT. Didn't even know about what or how many questions does the CAT have. Then I saw my first result. Seriously thought that IMS has goofed up its checking. Also realized one warm sunny day what Nehru meant when he critically analyzed Aurobindo's statement "The pure virgin moment."
Built my profile in October. Did little else. (Profile-building is not an easy exercise you know. This was also the first year I forgot my own birthday while busy in this task.) Was disabused of my notions about the GRE. Also reconsidered my decision to apply for MS for the umpteenth time. Another claim to fame this month. A seventh rank on the 'black list'. But it had more white on it than black I think. Gloated again on reading encouraging replies to my query on the CAT yahoogroup.
Baithe hue tasavvur-e-jaana kiye hue.....'
Bhupinder was crooning on RadioCity. It was a few days before the IIM Lucknow GD/PI. I had heard this song many times before, but never before could I relate to it better. My heart searches for those days of leisure - 'woh fursat ke raat din'. That I would have a lot of 'fursat' in hand a few days later was my optimistic attempt at self-consolation. The past days had been hectic. In fact, the past year had been hectic. And one hell of a hectic year. I started leafing through the pages of my memory. In search of the time that had flown away..... and left in its wake, an eventful year bursting towards the end. Eventful and hectic, perhaps I have chosen the correct words here. You decide.
March - May
Jaadon ki narm dhoop aur aangan mein letkar....
I can still remember last March and my frustrating efforts at trying to master the intricacies of the English Grammar with the Cambridge English Skill Builder. Ten days of bunking college and studying for TOEFL. Cannot call it hard work but whatever it was, it paid of in the end with a perfect score on the TOEFL. My only regret, this score does not matter at all to the admissions committee, so maybe whatever it was, it did not pay off that well. Then came the painful realization that even though I have postponed my GRE to August, I will still have to study to study for it sometime. But because I ha developed procrastination to a fine art, I didn't have any problems ignoring studying for the GRE.
April came knocking and with it a few shocks as project groups were formed. Class politics does not stop anywhere. I decided even I want to do a project. A new realization also dawned that scoring marks is the way to meaningful life. I also discovered that Ghalib was one of India's most famous poets.
May the great God repeat last may this May. I did something then I have shunned ever since. Studying for the exams. The almost daily guiding sessions with friends helped me remember that I have to pass, maybe also score, this semester. As the exams began, for perhaps the first time in my life, I experienced not regretting not studying in the PL.
June
Aankhon par kheench kar tere Daaman ke saaye ko...
"No vacations this time!". Those were my first thoughts as I read about the upcomig campus placements. I went around collecting interview tips and sifting through the sand for my 'resume'. Being reduced to a single page, didn't help especially help ease mental stress but had to live with it. Shakuntala Devi replaced Dan Brown as the author of the season for most of the crowd. (It seems Infy questions were 'inspired' by that book.) Apparently both TCS and INFY had lots of places for communication-skills-disasters, so I was accepted at both places (inspite of the pitiful interviews whose transcripts I will not blog!). Immediately after my acceptances arrived, I rushed for my internship (If you can call two-three weeks of timepass an internship). The tension of the impending GRE, now less than 45 days away, was gnawing into me. Trudged along to Vashi everday, pitifully trying to mug wordlists, day by day, everyday.
July
Aundhe pade rahe kabhi karvat liye hue
July held lots for me other than July 26th. Intership ends. Full-on GRE mode. Come to terms with the fact that I need to write essays now. Other facts too dawn on me : wordlists really do not matter and the no-logic required b******* they teach in GRE classes (mine was IMFS) is just that. Realize that I have enough potential to score in the GRE as I know the meaning of b*******. Start writing essays in all earnestness. Then comes 26th July, which told me that I can live in stress. Even if only for a day, but I can keep my cool when required. It also told me that Mumbai is not all that bad, after all. I also started reading Ghalib.
August
Ya garmiyon ki raat jo purvaiyan chale...
My essays improved with time. And effort. D-Day came and went. I don't know whether I changed but the world around me sure did. The class next day was a welcome surprise. From being a non-entity, I was directly catapulted to the hall of fame. I remember around 30 people congratulating me in a space two minutes. My 15 seconds (or rather 2 minutes) under the sun. Either these people had no idea how little the GRE score mattered or they were just being good for the sake of it. I suspect the former, as I suffered from the same ignorance. I love double helpings of everything and providence was feeling bountiful. I received my highest score in engineering till now. Nothing that great relatively but still great. Relatively.
The rest of the month was spent adjusting to college and life post-GRE.
(I had my first thoughts about starting a blog when I experienced this month. The details are still etched out in my memory, of my imaginary posts on my imaginary blog.)
September-October
Thandee Safed chadron par jaage der tak...
Early september was spent gloating over the astonished faces of counsellors as I told them my GRE scores. Finally decided I have to start applying and have to 'build' a profile. There are supposed masters of this art in existence. Then there are those who suffer from ethical qualms. But ethics are expendable. Was into 'Ghalib' by now.
I was talked into trying the CAT too. Just to get the feel you know, if the MS stuff does not work out. That would give me sufficient ground to plan for next year. Also appeared for my first Sim-CAT. Didn't even know about what or how many questions does the CAT have. Then I saw my first result. Seriously thought that IMS has goofed up its checking. Also realized one warm sunny day what Nehru meant when he critically analyzed Aurobindo's statement "The pure virgin moment."
Built my profile in October. Did little else. (Profile-building is not an easy exercise you know. This was also the first year I forgot my own birthday while busy in this task.) Was disabused of my notions about the GRE. Also reconsidered my decision to apply for MS for the umpteenth time. Another claim to fame this month. A seventh rank on the 'black list'. But it had more white on it than black I think. Gloated again on reading encouraging replies to my query on the CAT yahoogroup.
November
Taaron ko dekhte rahen chhat par pade hue
A new low for me. Knew nothing except for the subject names for all my vivas. CAT fever rose exponentially. I knew the tables from 1-1o by now. With only 5 days left, 11-20 was not worth it. Learnt the binomial theorem on the last day. Who knows.... CAT day came. It did not go away that easily. I tried finding the perfect answer-key amongst the ones floating around in the inane media-frenzy. Failed miserably and gave up hopes on CAT. CAT went to the dogs (couldn't resist the pun! sorry!). Exams arrived. Studying helped. Friends helped. CAT did not help.
December
Barfeelee sardiyon mein kisi bhi pahad par...
Exams came to an end. I knew I am not going to score well. But just did not care. No time for caring. University deadlines were approaching and my packets were still not ready.
Worked. Worked fast. Worked sloppy. But worked. Mourned the funeral of another so-called vacation. Came to know that the US of A celebrates Christmas in a big way. Most univs are closed and application packets jammed. Stopped reading Ghalib in frustration.
January
Waadi mein Goonjti hui Khamoshiyan sune....
10, 9, 8, 7...... I was fervently counting the number of universities left for applying. Finally this uncompletable task is nearing a finale. My tired eyes were searching for a much needed relief. It was mid-January when I realized that I will be busy wasting this whole semester too. I was just left with two universities when I got the CATcalls. I almost groaned in happiness. Spent the next day trying to locate Kozhikode on the Indian Map. Also remembered I have a project to do. College started like a rickety BEST bus stuck in the first gear. I did not start. CAT results again brought a flurry of congratulations, many through email this time. Someone wished me 'Happy Republic Day'. I started blogging.
The IMS achiever's batches also started. Gloated again on being called an achiever. Realized pretty desperately that something has to be done about the project. Started reading Ghalib's biography. Stopped gloating after an IMS mock interview with Gaurav Sabnis and the 'VJTI guy'.
February
Aankhon mein bheege bheege se lamhe liye hue
Wiped my sweaty forehead. Had a bout of incomprehension the first time I started reading ET. Realized I will have to miss the industrial visit. Mourned it. Also spent time inventing curses for IIM Lucknow. Finished reading Ghalib's biography. Was desperate for a change of atmosphere. Started attending college.
The interview process started. I thought I am the lost one. Dawned on me that I am simply a lost one. Battled the deprivation of exclusivity. Also received the lowest percentage of my life in the penultimate semester (it happened right when my IIM K interview was on). Had a few enoyable moments at IITB. Tried to emulate those everywhere.
March
Dil dhoondta hai....
Bhupinder was repeating his lines now, lines of Gulzar inspired from a ghazal of Ghalib. All said and done there was nothing more he could say. As for me, I was waiting, searching.
The PresentThe IMS achiever's batches also started. Gloated again on being called an achiever. Realized pretty desperately that something has to be done about the project. Started reading Ghalib's biography. Stopped gloating after an IMS mock interview with Gaurav Sabnis and the 'VJTI guy'.
February
Aankhon mein bheege bheege se lamhe liye hue
Wiped my sweaty forehead. Had a bout of incomprehension the first time I started reading ET. Realized I will have to miss the industrial visit. Mourned it. Also spent time inventing curses for IIM Lucknow. Finished reading Ghalib's biography. Was desperate for a change of atmosphere. Started attending college.
The interview process started. I thought I am the lost one. Dawned on me that I am simply a lost one. Battled the deprivation of exclusivity. Also received the lowest percentage of my life in the penultimate semester (it happened right when my IIM K interview was on). Had a few enoyable moments at IITB. Tried to emulate those everywhere.
March
Dil dhoondta hai....
Bhupinder was repeating his lines now, lines of Gulzar inspired from a ghazal of Ghalib. All said and done there was nothing more he could say. As for me, I was waiting, searching.
The class was enjoying Rajasthani deserts and the invisible tigers of Ranthambore while I mulled over Chidambram's budget. But this would end. It would end on 18th of March with IIM I over. Then I can start being me again. The tribulations shall cease. The celebrations will begin. Life will be fun. The world will be stress-free. I will enjoy the final semester to the hilt. While I was engrossed in my Utopian dreams, 18th came. I enjoyed the next day, a Sunday, still dreaming of the fursat ke din ahead.
I went to college frothing with joy and drooling with hope the next day. After the customary 'How did the interview go?' questions, the barrage started.
'Arre Monday ko PE ka assignment submit karna hai'
'Robotics ka journal market mein aa gaya hai'
'Tera DCN likhke hua?'
'Next week mostly class test hai. Mecha kitna likhna hai kuchh maloom hai kya?'
'Yaar project vivas next month hain. Kitna khatam hua hai?'
I started writing. There was no time for waiting or searching. There was no time. The only thing I could remember was, 'Dil dhoondta hai phir wahi fursat ke....'
I went to college frothing with joy and drooling with hope the next day. After the customary 'How did the interview go?' questions, the barrage started.
'Arre Monday ko PE ka assignment submit karna hai'
'Robotics ka journal market mein aa gaya hai'
'Tera DCN likhke hua?'
'Next week mostly class test hai. Mecha kitna likhna hai kuchh maloom hai kya?'
'Yaar project vivas next month hain. Kitna khatam hua hai?'
I started writing. There was no time for waiting or searching. There was no time. The only thing I could remember was, 'Dil dhoondta hai phir wahi fursat ke....'
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